capitalist coffee

Barack Obama and His Medals

Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize today. He was selected over Sima Samir, Afghan women’s rights activist, and both Hu Jia and Wei Jingsheng, who have served time in prison for criticizing communism in China. While the others were nominated for accomplishments in the real actual world, the Nobel Committee took note of Mr. Obama’s speeches, handshakes, bowing skills, Hopeychangeyness, ability to convice a crowd they could lower sea levels, and not being George W. Bush.

We have taken the liberty of projecting Mr. Obama’s second and third Nobel Prizes, as demonstrated in the following headlines from the future:

2013: Barack H. Obama Awarded Second Nobel Peace Prize. Cited were his accomplishments in installing Taliban government in Afghanistan. Sima Samir, who could not be identified in sea of burquas, was unable to comment.

2019: Barack H. Obama Awarded Third Nobel Peace Prize, for being a former U.S. President not named George W. Bush. This comes on the heels of the 10th annual U.S. celebration of Chinese Communism ascendancy, which began in his watch. Also notable is the 30th anniversary of the Tianenmen Square massacre. Hu Jia, still in prison for criticizing the Chinese government, was unable to comment. Also unable to comment was Joe “The Plumber” Wurzelbacher, who is currently in prison for crimes of criticizing income redistribution and failure to enroll in a healthcare plan, both of which became crimes in Mr. Obama’s Presidency.

Ed Driscoll: Woody Allen Was Wrong – Showing up is 100% of Success

Hugh Hewitt: Congratulations, Mr. President, but…

Jonah Goldberg: Hilarious and Sad

Mark Steyn: Nobel Peace Bribe

Roundup from Glenn Reynolds – InstaPundit

Times Online: absurd decision on Obama makes a mockery of the Nobel peace prize

John Podhoretz: Barack Obama is the Michael Moore of Oslo